About Lora K. Joy

Lora K. Joy is the progression of me. Lora was the name my biological mother gave me, but did not feel she had the right to put on my birth certificate. K. stands for her last name and for Kimberly. A name that is on my adoption record, but I am not sure who gave it to me. Joy was my adoptive name and how everyone knew me until January 2022 when I legally reclaimed the name Lora.

I am an adult adoptee, born in 1979 and adopted through a religious organization in a closed adoption. The first time I remember knowing I was adopted was at 8 years old and my whole world shifted under my feet. The first 29 years of my life I was swirling in pain, not realizing it was caused by relinquishment. The reality of adoption trauma crashed over me and I began to heal through various therapy approaches. The journey has been long and difficult, but now I can stand on the other side, while continuing to grow and heal.

Reunion happened with my biological mother and maternal half-brother in 2008 and my paternal, biological cousins and half siblings in 2020. The journey of reunion is terrifying, exhilarating and heart breaking all at once. This page is meant to represent all aspects of this journey so that others may find solace in knowing they are not alone.

Upon healing my adoption trauma, I gained strength to live my truth. This led to an estrangement 30 years in the making from my adoptive parents. Estrangement is about both the unhealthy relationship with my adoptive parents from which I needed to remove myself and about rebuilding the life I should have always had. I was in the wrong place my whole life and it mattered that I was raised by strangers.

I have taken the lessons from my life as an adoptee and tried to parent my children accordingly. I have 2 children - a son and a daughter who are teenagers as of this writing. I have been married to my husband since 2003. He has been on this journey and supported me every step of the way.

I find peace in running, traveling, skiing and spending time alone.

My hope for all adoptees is that they can look inside, find their truth, heal and live their most authentic life.