There is a lot of talk about attachment and bonding in the world of adoption. After going through my healing journey, I know as a newborn baby, I was bonded to my biological mother before birth. When I was born, I was expecting to meet this person I already knew. When she wasn’t there, I was terrified and plunged into grief. The bond was broken and I was catapulted into a void.

I’ll never forget the first time I read the word narcissism and its definition. I was in therapy for the first time, reading as many books as possible, trying to make sense of what it meant to be adopted and the relationship with my adoptive family. I was lying in bed reading and I sat straight up.

I believe I was listening to the We Can Do Hard Things Podcast when they were talking about boundaries. When we set boundaries with other people, it is not about what we expect the other person to do – boundaries are about what we will do and how we will conduct ourselves if they are crossed.

Gaslighting has become a very popular term recently. People can be gaslit in romantic relationships, friendships or by family members. I’ve never heard a group of people talk about experiencing gaslighting more than adopted people.

In the beginning of Covid I was discussing a worry with my therapist. I said I could relax in 2 weeks when the window for something bad to happen closed. As I told my therapist about my anxiety and concern, she said that’s not how worry works.