I've Been Here Before

Since the election I’ve had a myriad of emotions. After the numbness wore off, I was terrified, yet strangely calm and resolute. The tears finally came a week later. Along with tears came an epiphany that explained my calmness and the familiarity. I have been here before. Not the first version of this administration, but in my childhood.

Growing up I felt kidnapped, controlled and trapped. I disassociated. I couldn’t be myself because I was fulfilling a role to take care of other people. But somewhere around middle school I saw my pathway out – turning 18 and going to college. I set my sights on surviving until then.

The cloud of oppression from this administration feels the same. While the ramifications will take decades to undo, we need to start by surviving the next 4 years (and if we’re lucky, maybe there will be a little relief in two). In that time, I will remain focused on protecting my people, fighting for the rights I believe in, donating to the causes that will give us the best chance at helping those who need it most and fending off long lasting legislation that will harm our most marginalized.

Surviving adoption, my childhood and going to therapy prepared me for this fight. I’ve been here before. I will not give this administration another 4 years of my nervous system. It’s middle school again and if our democracy survives, high school graduation is January 20, 2029.